December 2010
41 posts
1 tag
When the snow melts and the dog crap surfaces,...
We raise our glasses and celebrate the warmth by putting the coals on and grilling some meat. It’s the Chicago way.
For the girl that has everything. →
Thingamabobs I’ve got twenty but who cares, I want more.
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with Miguel, who only had 1 arm. I’m not even...
bujnik replied to your post: Where did Christina get the wire hangers?
Mentioning dry cleaning hangers gives me PTSD shakes. I worked in a dry cleaners for years and they made me do all the grunt work…including sorting hangers with Miguel, who only had 1 arm. I’m not even joking.
Where did Christina get the wire hangers?
Taking a break from hanging shit up in the closet to ask google a very important question. Seriously, if you know, tell me. I’m a little pissed about the amount of dry cleaning throwaway hangers that were being used with regular clothes that I now have to replace. “NO THROWAWAY DRY CLEANING HANGERS!” Nah, just doesn’t sound the same.
P.s. Still procrastinating! I...
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You learn something new each day.
Apparently I suck at Legos. Duplo fine. Complex Lego sets, not my thing. The disappointment in my kids eyes, the harsh words.
“MOM, you can’t help, you don’t know what you’re doing. I’LL do it.
He’s four.
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I didn't always have the internet. I used to have...
We used to have friends that knew all the little things. Trivia, who was in what, who dated/married/divorced. Even smartish trivia, things about wars and literature.
I was this person.
Sure the internet, google, Alta Vista, whatever, took me down a peg. I was less useful, but still a winner at games testing ones ability to know stupid shit.
My greatest enemy has been myself, and my...
A sweep is as lucky, as lucky can be
Bert, Mary, who knows.
Just stop chasing the cat with that thing.
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Thoughts on Thoughts on Judge Judy.
It was on. I left it on. I watched the first case and thought, these people are idiots. Arguing with roommates, being petty, lying to JJ. Then the second case started and this girl was warbling some convoluted story about boyfriends and jail but that wasn’t even the point, a missing/stolen/misplaced TV was the point. And I was feeling really superior. Like “Holy Shit These...
“ I clutter my life with things. I have memories all over that I don’t even...”
The things we do for love.
Purchase life-size remote controlled rats.
Obviously the cat is terrified.
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Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree, get the fuck...
I know it’s the most beautiful tree ever.
I know it’s a frasier fir and we could technically have it up for a month.
I know I said I’d love it forever.
But Christmas is over, my birthday is drawing near.
My hate for it is growing.
It’s end is almost here.
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Last Chance Egg Nog
The other night I made a beautiful gourMET meal. Sure I’d worked a million days in a row, moved, had little to no sleep, but dammit my house was clean, my husband and child were dressed in silly Christmas sweaters, and I made a beautiful meal with ingredients I paid way too much for at Whole Foods. It was perfect. Ish.
Last night, very late. I downed a bag of peanut M&M’s...
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If you live downtown and want to sled try this... →
Me and the kid walked here the other day. Warmed up in a very nice Jewel and then went down the hill about twenty times. Then I possibly broke my nose.
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Of course he prefers Barbra.
Me: (singing Jingle Bells)
Kid: Sing it like that one where you say "Jingle Jing Jing Jing Jingle Bells!"
Me: You mean like Barbra Streisand? (sing my best Barbra)
Kid: That was so beautiful. It sounded like a fat viking mom with a horn hat was singing it!
Me: Like an opera singer?
Kid: Yeah it's my favorite.
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Words of love so soft and tender won't win a...
Kid: I’m Charlie Brown.
Me: Me, too.
Kid: (rolls eyes) You’re Lucy. With boobs.
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Quite possibly the smartest/meanest thing I've...
Gave him a big box to put in the middle of his room.
Told him if he likes a toy and wants to see it again it better go in that box.
Child occupied.
Need drinks.
Will have him do this in other rooms if it works.
Wish me luck.
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Momlady style.
Leggings purchased here. They are very comfy. Available in different colors.
inthesaddle asked: Does your husband still play music? Do you play music, too?
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Reading too much into it. Maybe.
I found out my husband knows of/possibly reads Halcoholic. He’s twelve years older than me chronologically. He usually dated much younger girls. Once I was talking to his sister about one of his previous relationships and why it didn’t work out and his sister said “She could buy her own beer.”
The blogger’s husband is much older. I think my husband is holding...
You can't always get what you want but if you try...
A box of coffee from SBUX just for me.
The snow, please wait.
The cough, please stop.
Movies to watch while I finish this shit.
Bagel with lox.
Pizza for dinner.
Beer, lots and lots of.
Fancy beer.
This is the 22nd time I’ve moved. Why does it suck so much this time?
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This is not okay.
Watching Home Alone and my kid is openly rooting for the bad guys.
”They are funny and cool.”
Troubles. That’s what I have ahead of me.
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Some bitches are too fancy and busy to help pack...
But those same bitches bring over a bottle of wine and read Where the Wild Things Are and some awful Dora book about a rainbow kite festival to the kid. And put him in bed. And invite you over for Top Chef later because they’re fancy bitches with cable and you’re moving and the antenna broke so you can’t watch anything anyways.
I’m so lucky to have these fancy bitches....
When Ronald Reagan died a girl that lived in the...
She didn’t know who he was or that he had been the president or in Bedtime for Bonzo. She was 22 years old. Born during his administration. She probably watched episodes of Family Ties that had Reagan jokes.
I was floored.
Today while in the bathroom(classy) G. held up this magazine and informed me that President Obama doesn’t have the right color suit on. That he sometimes...
Oh the innocence.
Watching OLD episode of Real Housewives of NYC on TeeVee. Before the fame had ruined them. When they were just rich bitches. Still deluded but without Google Alerts.
Before Kelly.
Before THIS.
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“If you want to prevent damage to your walls use Command Hook.”
– My kid is a mouthpiece for the cheap and shitty shit that is shilled on Qubo. And I am an idiot. In my packing haze he made sense. Maybe he’s looking at all of the nails in the wall and is genuinely concerned for our new apartment.
But then I notice his expression is slightly glazed...